I’m about to explain a critically acclaimed theory that my friend Ritvik and I (mainly I) have documented in detail over the last year, The Hipster Theory. In layman’s terms, the essence of the theory goes like this. Everyone wants to be hipster these days. Now that statement has an intrinsic contradiction. If everyone wants to be hipster, then wanting to be a hipster is definitely mainstream (now mainstream is hipster’s nemesis). By indulging in something mainstream, how can one become hipster? Bam! The very foundations of the mental framework of the cool college dude is shattered. Talking about that 1970’s noir classic and that post rock band from Iceland doesn’t seem cool according to this school of thought. All those of hours of googling gone to waste. This theory is not without contradictions though. No one, at least in cyberspace, likes Justin Bieber. So does that mean liking him is hipster, according to this theory? Now I exercise my right to silence and leave that as an open ended question.
This brings us to a very important question. Who is hipster? Surely the person who embraces the mainstream should be hipster? Hmm. That doesn’t sound right. How can a hipster be mainstream and vice versa? That will just build layer upon layer of contradiction and making sense of it will be an exercise in futility. This implies that the theory is flawed somewhere. After pondering on this for an eternity, the answer dawned upon us in the form of Modified Hipster Theory. To explain the modified theory, I need to use simple mathematical tools such as the Venn Diagram and Set Theory
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Suppose the hipster and the mainstream are two sets. From our statistical findings, there will be an intersection of these two sets. Now the modified theory states that the people in the intersection are the most mainstream. Makes sense, as most of the people we see are a part of both and most people are, by definition, mainstream. As we move further away from this intersection, the degree of hipsterness (denoted by M, for Menon) increases. In short, the most mainstream and the most hipster are actually hipster and the one who is a bit of both is mainstream.
Keep in mind, this theory was formulated at a micro-cosmic level, with the sample space being just BITS, Pilani, so a certain degree of tolerance should be provided for.
That’s about it, I guess.
Meanwhile, in a parallel dimension, Super Nerd Akshay beams proudly at his Earthly counterpart.
The Hipster Theory 